Unlike most things that have evolved with
technology “online dating” is a concept that’s still treated like a scene from
the 1976’s horror flick “Carrie”. If your friends find out you met him online –
“they’re all gonna laugh at you.” If you need to Google “Carrie” please stop
reading this article right . . . now. While online dating is becoming more main
stream there are still those who for some reason believe that meeting someone
via the computer isn’t normal. Yet this same person will disclose all of their
personal business via updates to their 5k FB friends and only really know 102
of them. OK.
I’ve read a ton of articles that play on the
“inside the box” theory about who dates online. You know “inside the box”
compared to “outside the box” (which really makes no sense either but indulge
me for a minute). Your “in the box” people are usually those described by the
“outside the box” people as follows: unattractive, over weight, introverted,
weird, shy and lonely. I know the internet has its more than fair share of the
previously described folk but there are some very fabulous people (clearing my
throat) that have used online dating services, fallen in love and even married
their online connection. So let’s dispel the myth that only losers find other
losers online.
I’ve
always been amazed by the judgmental people that mock online romances yet rave
about the person they met at the club or bar. Really? You didn’t meet him/her
at the “We Are Curing Cancer Conference” so what’s the big whoop? The funniest
article I’ve yet to read about online dating ended with the following statement
“I may not be dating but at least I’m not dating these types of men”. Now grant
it the men she was referring to had details in their profiles that were just
down right crass. “Only looking to hook up”, “I’m recovering but I’m in a
better place” and my all time favorite “I’m thinking about divorcing my wife so
I figured I should see what’s out here”. These were real profiles people.
I even heard with my own two ears this
woman’s account of how she was used and cheated on by someone she met online. Long
story short, they met online, got acquainted and decided to meet in person.
Here’s the stupidity in the story. She was the financier of everything. She
flew him out too see her. He stayed at her place and she bank rolled their
entire weekend together (Scooby Doo sound). I was sad that another woman had
been played (not really). Then I thought for a second – WAITTTTT A MINUTE! I’VE
HEARD STORY THIS BEFORE! Hmmm, you met a guy and he turned out to not be worth
a damn. Then I remembered when I heard this story! All my life – SAT DOWN SOME
WHERE. Just because someone has access to the internet it doesn’t make then
asshole proof. Duh. My point is no matter how you meet someone you have to do
your homework on them. If you’re considering dating online be sure to protect
yourself. Match.com offers some really great advice for newbie’s http://www.match.com/help/safetytips.aspx).
The reason why I absolutely love online
dating is because it’s a money saver for both men and women. Men don’t have to
waste money trying to impress women they aren’t even sure are worth it. Wining
and dining can add up. If the average date cost a man lets say $200. Dinner at
a nice restaurant, the flowers he brings you (if he has any class), the gas he
burned picking you up or meeting you there and maybe some other event during
the evening if there was time. Sorry ladies but I’m with the fellas on this
one. Three dates a month can easily cost a man $600. “Blowing Money Fast” is
only a reality in make believe rap songs. So a dude is out of $200 per date
just to find out if he wants to take a woman out again. I’m sorry but you’re no
B and he’s not J. Let’s be a little more realistic about what a date is suppose
to be and come down off the high horse it took you so long to climb onto. I
know that’s difficult for some of you to do because you’re just so hot right?
(LMAO).
For women there is also money invested but
it’s on presentation. Take me for example, when I’m going on a first date I
like to impress the man that has shown me he is interested in getting to know
me. Add to the fact that I’m uber girly and you’ve got a woman that dedicates
half a day to get ready. So hair, mani/pedi, brows and an appointment at the
MAC counter is standard. Add the 2 hours it will take me to put it all together
and there you have it. Time is money please believe me. Factor in how many frogs
a girl must kiss in order to find her prince and you’ve got some major work
being put in; all to determine if I want to go out with him again. That’s that
ish I don’t like. It’s tiring and the returns on my investments haven’t always
been optimum.
Dating online allows you to put your best
foot (along with your best pics) forward. It’s actually more engaging than
meeting someone in the traditional manner. There is no audience so performances
in the club or at the bar are unnecessary. Put your swag away and develop a
personality. All of the information is laid out for you to read. Sure people
lie but then again what’s new? Pay a modest fee and there you have it. Hundreds
of men (in my case) at your fingertips that have the opportunity to read your
profile, drool over your pics and decide if they want to send you a message
based on those two factors. I used to love checking my inbox. I felt like
Clarence Carter singing “I Be Strokin”, my ego that is. At one point I
literally had 158 messages from unique users on this one site I used.
Has my online search for love been easy –
not really. I faced the same challenges I would have I met someone the old
fashioned way but the difference this time around is I didn’t have to leave the
comfort of my PJ’s and living room to hold a conversation. If the guy wasn’t my
type it was easy to keep it moving. Of course you’re asking “so have you met
anyone?’. Of course I have. That’s why online dating is that deal! If you want
to be in a relationship and are having a difficult time meeting someone because
of your work schedule and you’re simply a little too old to be on the scene I
suggest you give it a shot. Twitter and FB flirting doesn’t count. You need to
be proactively seeking out what you want. Plus paying for something usually
puts a little spark in your involvement. Nothing in this life just happens so
leeeeee-goooo! Its 2013, time to take advantage of the tools available.
Statistics show that 1 out of 4 couples met
online and the number is still on the rise. Online dating is second in line
only to meeting someone through friends or family.(http://christiehartman.com/blog/online-dating/some-interesting-statistics-on-online-dating/)
Now ladies the only down side is that the numbers are stacked in favor of the
men but what’s new? There are more female users on dating sites because men
don’t typically like to fill out the long questionnaires associated with their
profile.
Don’t underestimate the power of technology
and love. It can be a beautiful thing people. You may as well get a jump on it.
It’ll be as standard as FB before you know it.
Great article Nikki, I admire your honesty. And your trips to the MAC Counter!
ReplyDeleteThe amount of outlay I suffered from before discovering dating sites was immense, not to mention embarassing. I've done my rounds of the websites in the past two years, and to be honest they rank as either too expensive or too filed-with-oddballs. The only one I've found with a decent level of single professionals for a good (ish) price is Lovestruck.com.
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ReplyDeleteThe strength of your main photo (especially how appealing it looks at a small size) will determine how much your profile gets viewed. It's very important to take this to heart when choosing your main photo.
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