Tuesday, November 13, 2012
the truth about . . . HEAD. Stereotypes and all
It’s not that this article will give me a slot in the “advancement of my people” or “credit to my race” category it’s simply to set the record straight. I’m over
the comparisons of Black women to other races of women. Black women don’t do this; Black women don’t do that. Black women are too damn difficult; Black women have attitudes. The unbalanced weight of today's reality shows don't help us much either. So when I heard this topic being discussed among some men; I listened, took some notes and decided I should weigh in.
For the record Black women don’t have a problem with oral sex. Think about it. A sistah will go hard in the paint for the man she loves. Honestly, some men just don’t move us like that. So I’m going to tackle this taboo topic. The fact that I’m writing this article speaks to how far women have come in owning our sexuality. I’m not talking about the false ownership that is presented by females who rap lyrics written by men or porn stars that perform from the male P.O.V. I’m not speaking of the H.O.E.S. who treat oral sex like a recreational jaw exercise or an alternative to Botox. I’m speaking of the well adjusted woman who understands the ego boost and the selflessness that comes with performing this act (for her man /husband). Please believe me when I tell you, if your woman doesn’t do it (and she’s a sistah) then it’s you partna. You are not where you should be and you’re insecure. We know it and you know we know it yet you still front. So in an effort to boost your self esteem we MIGHT hook you up but it wont be often; and it will be haphazard.
I remember like it was yesterday. “Nikki, come in here. I wanna talk to you about something. A co-worker and I were talking today and she told me that she encourages her daughter to perform oral sex as a way to preserve her virginity. We don’t believe that and you don’t have to do it –ever!” So there’s the reason why we didn’t do it like "Becky". We weren't raised that way (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oral_sex). And yes my Mothers co-worker was of a different race (to each his own – no judgment here).
Now fast forward to current day. Plain and simple when we do it – we like you. More than likely we love you. When we break you off it means something. Follow me. We had to consider it. The consideration came into to play because you asked for it or you pulled the old “push her head down” routine. We pondered the idea; decided you were worth it, held our breath, dived in and in that very moment we were unselfish. Fellas let’s be very clear. WE GET ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OUT OF THIS. And please don’t let there be a need for “Ball Fresh” (see Jill Scott live in concert).
Now, for you dudes with the larger than life ego who thinks the “WG’s do it all for me” – let that go. It’s her preference. It has nothing to do with “you”. They do it because it keeps the cookie sacred. See the pattern here?
Lesson for the day – an insecure man is the equivalent of a woman with low self esteem; annoying and displeasing. So stop blaming us and do a mirror check.