Tuesday, October 16, 2012
the truth about . . . the 4 F's - Feed him, *@& him, be faithful to him and stFu sometimes
Yesterday I wrote about the two reasons men cheat and before you go assuming the post is all about male bashing, it is not. I suggest reading it - you'll be pleasantly surprised. Within that post I listed "The 4 F's" ladies must embrace in order to accommodate their man's needs and make him ratchet proof once he enters the jungle also known as the world.
The first "F" - feed him. Ladies feeding your man means more than a dinner plate (although that is a must so get your arse in the kitchen, turn on the stove and get it in). Feeding your man means understanding what makes HIM happy, not what YOU think makes him happy. A romantic dinner may do it for you but he could give a damn about that. Find out what he likes - ASK HIM. Feeding his ability to be accountable is also key; no man wants a push-over they want a partner. Feeding his ego will also be essential. He has to feel appreciated. Be sure to thank him (again thank him based on his standards not yours).
The second "F" - **** him. I don't know how a woman allows her man in this day and age to walk around without being sexually satisfied. Did you know there are hundreds of apps for pornography? And they're free (wont detect that on the credit card bill). Did you know a text message from an ex saying "Hey, I was just thinking about you" or a smile from the woman in front of him at the coffee house is enough to turn your world as you know it upside down??? All because you wont do your freakin' job? A M A Z I N G!! Let me make it plain - SEX IS IMPORTANT TO YOUR MAN. Why it seems to be so important? I don't know and don't care (I'm not a man) but what I do know and understand is they need it like Pookie in New Jack need that hit. In the morning, in the afternoon, at night, in the car, in the kitchen, because he loves you, during half time (don't be stupid and interrupt the game) or just because he wants to hit right quick. And please know oral is included in E V E R Y scenario above. For most men sex without oral is to us what walking through Niemans to get to Macy's would be. Who does that? If you need help - get a book (there are plenty), take a lesson, ask your girls but by all means, for the love of your relationship - get it done (and not haphazardly) with some enthusiasm. He wants to know you care and nothing says that like effort and enthusiasm!
The third "F" - be faithful to him. One thing that tares a man down quicker than anything is finding out that his woman has given herself emotionally and most importantly (sexually) to another man. It makes him feel inadequate, like a punk, like he cant compete and ultimately like he wasn't worthy of you loving him. A woman that is faithful to her man can lead him to do great things like become the POTUS. Had Michelle ever cheated the Republicans would have found out by now and paid quadruple what the democratic party would have paid the woman to tell her story. Every man wants that. I don't care what his past in, what his boys said or hell what he's said - every man wants to be loved, respected and committed to by someone other than his momma. For women this means no texting, no lunch dates, no FB inbox conversations, no communicating through your girls and no weekend trips without him. Seems controlling but how would you feel if he were doing any of the previously mentioned. Ladies we gotta stop acting like the reason we get bent over by some dude who doesn't love us some how trumps the ratchet broad that approached our man. Some how because we do what we do out of emotion it seems to be justifiable. Your still bent over - no matter the reason.
The fourth "F" - stFu sometimes. I had the pleasure of being witness to the following: A man walks into a restaurant, greets his significant other by kissing her, takes a seat and that was the extent of his entire involvement during the evening. I mean this chic would not shut up. Everything was about her - her job, her boss, her broken heel, her meetings, her lunch. WTF??? This man spoke twice. "Hello" and "can I get a refill". And that was directed at the server. I'll say it like this - Men are headlines. Women are fine print. They don't need or WANT details. Now one thing for sure is that we can't turn off how "we" as women are but we can filter. Make sure you ask how he is and ask with the intent of listening and engaging him. Nothing screams selfishness faster than a woman who cant listen and dialogue. The Beginners Guide to Learning How to STFU: 1.) Very little talking during the game unless its about the game, 2.) Don't attack him as soon as he walks through the door (at least not with words), 3.) Ask a question? Expect an answer not a story and 4.) Less is more and that includes hearing your mouth (all the time).
The "4 F's" go hand in hand. Can't have one without the other. Again, there is no guarantee he won't cheat because the actions of another can't be controlled; but you can limit the time he will spend entertaining a broads advances if the above is implemented!