Monday, October 15, 2012

the truth about . . . cheating - there's only 2 reasons he does it.


Next to "why did Adam eat the apple?" I swear this is the oldest question in the world. “Why did he cheat?” Like to hear it; here we go.

One. There must be a woman willing to cheat with him (that's easy). Two. He must give in to temptation. That's it. It has nothing to do with him not loving his girlfriend/spouse. It has nothing to do with him not being "a real man". It has nothing to do with having "mommy" issues as a young boy or being intimidated by "his woman". It simply boils down to opportunity and a willing participant.

Finding a woman that will sleep with a man in a committed relationship is as easy as finding a whore in a whore house. Again, that's easy. Now hoping he has the self control and discipline not to cheat - well that's where things get a little sticky. We've all heard the stats about how many times a day a man thinks about sex. Well these days he doesn't have to "think" at all. Its right there - ALL DAY - 24/7 - 365. Apps, profile pics, free porn sites, viral videos, forwarded pics from his boys. You name it; he's seen it - 3, 4, 500 times over. It doesn't take a lot to stimulate a man sexually. That's how they're wired. Now multiply that urge by a barrage of non-stop stimulating access. GIRL BYE!! 

Now let me be clear - WOMEN REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF SEX AND WHAT "NEW" SEX MEANS TO MEN. This is why we (women) always internalize the cheating whether we admit it or not. OK, ladies, we don't get the "sex" thing but for the love of your relationship please stop discounting how important it is to YOUR MAN. Try this. Take whatever your thing is (mine happens to be handbags). What if I could get the LV "Never Full Bag" in every color and size, any time I wanted it; and at a discounted rate? (just an example – Louis doesn’t discount). That description alone is orgasmic. Apply your "thing" and multiply it by 1 trillion. That is how much your man (and any other man) loves, needs and wants sex. 

The best thing you can do for yourself is to find a mate that understands and accepts the responsibility of accountability. Seeking out traits in a man that identify his strengths in the face of adversity wouldn't be a bad start. No man is exempt from temptation but a man who can see it coming from a mile away and remove himself as the objective is on the right track. Recognizing it’s the over-lay for the under-play – PRICELESS!

Once you have him the best thing you can do is equip him so that he is prepared when he goes into the jungle. To prepare him you must embrace the 4 F's - Feed him, F*#@ him, be Faithful to him and shut the *#@ up sometimes. This still doesn't guarantee that he won’t cheat but it will make him think twice before he gives up what he has with you for some random broad that was able to stroke his ego during a weak moment.

 In the words of J "thank God for granting me this moment of clarity; this moment of honesty" - women have changed the dynamics of relationships for the worse. Between our "owwn need no man" independence rant and engaging in sex outside of any sort of commitment, we have damaged the game beyond repair. The advice above is for sisters who love and respect their men and need a heads up about these broads "who bout that life". Send your man out to do battle prepared. Don't let these broads catch him and you slippin'. Step your heel game and flexibility up; both at the same time (wink).

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