Wednesday, October 10, 2012

the truth about . . . the EX factor

In addition to writing I often work on projects for clients that require me to outsource some aspects of the project to complete it. I have a roster of dependable professionals that give me access to skill sets I just don't have. I'm on a new project and wouldn't you know it - skill set needed.

So I reached out to a source that happens to be an ex and he is married. Now before you go putting your Stevie J & Rosalyn spin on this - that it is not. I respect him and his marriage but I won't get on a soap box with the "my sister is me" approach and go on a tangent talking about sisterhood and sticking together. The facts are simply this: 1.) I have enough to account for on judgement day without adulteress being added to my roster of sins, 2.) I want the man that God has for me to find me whole and happy not broken and bitter.

I will admit it though - he looked great. There is something about seeing grown men in their professional environment that is ubber attractive. I was like daaaayyyyyuumm (but only to myself). Looking at him with 30 something year old eyes versus 20 something year old eyes gave me some much needed insight. In that very moment I realized that I had let a good one get away (and this wasnt the first time). Being honest with myself I concluded that I had no vision when it came to that relationship. I didn't see him as the man he would become I saw him as the man he was. That wasnt a bad thing - he was and is good guy; but that insight forced me to admit I was selfish and careless. What's the point of being involved in anything without a goal.

Being in a relationship without a goal and a vision (foundation) is just as careless as being in one and cheating. Same end result is inevitable. You either end up back at square one (single) or unhappy. Goals make it easy to select a partner. Vision allows you to identify all that he (or she) can offer. Patience grants you the reward of seeing a meaningful relationship manifest.

It's never too late to learn and correct!

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