Tuesday, October 9, 2012

the truth about . . . baggage and blame

A few blogs ago I posted a topic titled "the truth about . . . being marriage material". What started out as a topic from a FB friend turned into a great but lengthy post. At the request of readers I'll begin taking each point (10 in total) and elaborating on them individually.

Let's talk about baggage and blame ladies. People often mistake not being over a break-up as baggage. That's only a portion of it so let's first define it so that everyone is on the same page. Baggage - things that encumber ones freedom, progress, development or adaptability. In simple terms  you are still embracing the hurt from previously failed relationships (personal or intimate). Physical or sexual abuse, infidelity, promiscuity, insecurities, lies, mommy and/or daddy issues - pretty much everything you see in the women on most reality shows. The difference between you and them - we know their names.

There comes a point when you must face the fact that you are the common denominator in these failed relationships. If you don't stop and face your reality you will forever be the woman that a man "deals" with and not the woman he loves.

How do you start? Look in the mirror and have a honest conversation with yourself. You are the only person that can call you out on your BS. Continuing to blame a man for your short comings and the inability to make an informed decision based on who you partner with is getting old. Not to mention it's ineffective. By the age of 30 there are just some things you should know and if not buy a book. There a tons of them at the library.

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