Thursday, October 11, 2012

the truth about . . . GAME and why we are still getting played

Well ladies here we are.  Tons of best sellers. Advice from the horses mouth. Great rom-coms plus years our of own experience. All great tools to help us navigate through the world of being single yet here we are still getting played. Mostly by ourselves this time around. The best way to swallow this pill is to just be honest (at least with yourself if no one else). Yup, put your big girl drawls on.

Trying to understand "game" and the reasons men do what they do is just too damn exhausting for me. At first I was on board. Soaking up advice like a kid eavesdropping on an X rated adult conversation. Then it dawned on me. The game hasn't changed it just became more brutal. Take the game of football. Over the years it has become the most brutal team sport on the face of the earth. The number of players suffering from injuries before and after seasons is at an all time high.

Sure some rules have been added and others tweaked to protect the players but the game is the game. A touchdown is still a touchdown. A field goal is still a field goal. Offsides is still offsides. The league recognized the need for more rules but they didn't alter the "game" one bit. Essentially as a player of the game one needs to recognize the rules and implement when necessary to protect himself. The same theory applies to relationships.

Playing two "rule" cards as it relates to dating/relationships will alleviate every man with ulterior motives. Self-respect and morals. The End. One thing about women that has been proven time and time again we are emotional. We make decisions based on emotion, and yes, sometimes fear. We forgive based on emotion and we "allow" based on emotion. Men know this and they use it but the funny part is they aren't even good at it. "I don't know why she is calling. I told her it was over and I'm with you. Oh, those? I don't know how her flip flops ended up in my closet."

The purpose of a lie is to conceal the truth - period. Once you discover he is lying to you (outside of asking does this make me look fat) it should be a deal breaker. Once the lie is accepted - it turns into "lies". Fast forward 8 months later and you now act as if him being a liar is some huge discovery. He's been a liar since the first lie - you played yourself. Had you played your self-respect card you wouldn't have wasted 8 months of your life that you can never get back and you would have avoided adding another notch to your bedroom belt.

The morals card is a no-brainer to play. Doing what's right instead of trying to be right goes a long way and morals go hand in hand with that thinking. Sure he's a liar and a cheat. His marriage is in shambles and his wife knows about you. But if you are willing to help a man capitalize on his short comings that makes you a small word with big meaning.

Ladies, stop trying to play the game before understanding the rules. And if the rule book is too complicated get rid of it and apply what is fool proof. Self-respect and morals. We aren't built for the "game".

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